Monday, November 3, 2008
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Sunday, October 5, 2008
I would have been a little annoyed becuase of his energtic and loud pressence but as he walked past me behind the counter he pointed at me with both hands in the signature heavy metal hand gesture and said "Whats up brother!?" in a really positive manner and i kind of admired his enthusiasm. He walked around the store a for a few minutes and i noticed that when the song eneded, it simply started back up again. Same song. Jump. Van Halen. I thought it was a little weird and then when it started again for the third time i jsut found it halarious. This dude woke up on sunday morning, put on shorts and a jean jacket and walked to a comic store with jump on repeat. That was his morning. Jump started for the fifth time and he was drumming on his legs and tapping his toes when i asked him if he needed a hand with anything. He took one hard look around the store scanning for nothing in particular and said. "Nah...there's nothing for me here man...thanks though." and then he left. Stoic and content, he walked off into the distance. He kind of reminded me of kwai Chang Caine but if he listened to really upbeat power rock.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Thats pretty funny i guess then.
Friday, August 29, 2008
2) A girl dressed up as Princess Leia pretending to give a hand job and lick the balls of a guy dressed up as Darth Vader.
3) Bald guy with glasses wearing sweatpants cut off into shorts, socks pulled up to his knees, stark white reboks and a tattered wolverine t-shirt straight up sneezed all over his hot dog before eating it and spilling a combination of mustard and snot on his right tit.
4) Really creepy looking girl walking really slowy by herself down an isle sucking a wooden spoon.
5) 35 to 40 different vagina's eating 10 different kinds of colored spandex.
6) Five or six hairy fat guys (who didn't come together) dressed like sailer moon. Make up and skirts. The whole sha-bang. They looked like Russian hookers.
7) Super Mario taking a piss while a janitor try ed to un-clog a toilet mere feet away from him.
8) A hundred person line up to meet some broad from star trek: Deep Space Nine and a ten person line up to meet Buzz Aldrin, who has actually been in space.
9) A mother who clearly dressed up as an anime character to please her 12 year old daughter (who was dressed in the same fashion) looked me right in the eyes with sheer desperation and asked me for a cigarette.
10) Some fat creeper going around taking pictures of all the 14 years old girls who dressed up CLEARLY had his boner not only tucked up in his sweat pants waist band but also the black clip on strap of his fanny pack.
This is just the tip of the ice berg. I don't ever want to go back for fear that if there is a god and he is indeed vengeful and decides to send a message to the scum of the earth with a plague of locusts and a volcano, that is the first place that is going down.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Thursday, July 24, 2008
He is on a "Batman High" and he needs a "fix". As he is browsing the comics he says to me that he thinks for the next batman "they" should bring back Jim Carey to reprise his role as the Riddler.
I feel like throwing up again.
He buys about twenty different batman comics and one super girl and then leaves.
Monday, July 14, 2008
I’m pouring myself a cup of tea when he walks in the door and says "Hey, Brother." in an accent that I can’t quite place. His skin is dark brown. Black hair and spars facial hair. He is pretty short, about 5'2 or so and has more clips and buckles on his person than a professional cave spelunker. It’s so hot outside and I can see this guy has on a black t-shirt and a black dickies jacket under his dark navy blue army camo coat. Black socks, black cargo pants with enough pockets to keep at least one memento from each of the 23 women he has raped and murdered. The most complicated white shoes Reebok has ever designed with additional silver reflector tape and flashing red lights. Black gloves with the Tips of the fingers cut off. Around his ankle is a Velcro strap with a compartment that is concealing god knows what, but most likely date rape and toxic glue sticks for sniffing. A mountain climbing back pack made by North 49 littered with similar reflectors to those on his shoes. There is a waist clip on his back pack. Used if you’re climbing a fucking mountain, that he has clipped around his waist, but his large stomach hangs over top of it. LANYARDS. Fucking this dude has four fucking lanyards. All black. From his back pack hangs a light jacket, on the opposite side, a black lunch bag. From the top of the bag there is a giant blue tube that runs along the right arm strap, to his bicycle helmet and hangs loosely by his mouth. Some transparent liquid drips from it every few minutes that at this point I’m convinced is urine he has collected from un-flushed women’s washroom toilets. His helmet is also covered in lights, reflectors, flashing lights, and wires that look like phone cords connecting them to some sort of power supply tucked away in that mess of clips and straps he calls a back pack. He is wearing a pair of those giant black sunglasses that cover your head on the sides as well, typically worn by the blind. And when he removes them, regular glasses underneath. He has a large yellow button pinned to his chest that reads “Keep on keeping on.” And has a picture of a cyclist with peace signs in place of their bikes wheels. He buys a candy bar and after stuffing the wrapper in his pocket, he brings his gloved hand out and a tissue covered, SOAKED in blood, fresh blood still bright red falls out. He takes of his glove only to reveal a tattoo on his hand, on that little piece of flesh in between his pointer finger and thumb that reads “SEXX” in block capitals. He picks up a Japanese comic that has a lot of gay man on man sex in it and flips through it. Then he asks me if we sell the opposite of this book. He starts telling me that he was pissed when Sabrina the teenage witch was canceled and immediately after its cancellation the animated series begun. The cartoon did not have the same kind of magic as the live action. He tells me about how he really liked the cat, and how Sabrina was always “messing up the magic and wearing really short skirts…” He points a batman poster and says he likes it because “It has a lot of dark shades in it…just like me.” Then he asks me if there is a comic called “Dark Shade” maybe about him. My tea is getting cold. He tells me he has to ride his bike to see a guy about buying a car. And all I can think about are those fucking lanyards and how this guy has no conceivable reason for having any keys, except for the padlocks on giant wooden boxes in remote locations around the city that he keeps his kidnap victims in.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
"Are those Craisins?" I looked at her and said "Yeah, i guess they are..."
She Turned away from me and started walking around the store again and said;
"My little Marshal just goes ga-ga for craisins." I said nothing. She paid and left.
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
I asked him what he was looking for in particular and he said "In General. Just Storm Troopers."
He stroked his goatee and eyed me carefully when i told him we've got nothing. Then he recieved what seemed like an important phone call on his black berry and walked out the door.