Monday, November 3, 2008

The Condescending Stole-Away

It's one of those points where there are so many customers coming in and out of the shop that i loose track of how many there actually are. Once they have all checked out and left i seize the opportunity for death metal. I like lots of different types of music and for the most part i get to play pretty much whatever music i like at the shop. However, i tend to stray away from the more heavy music while customers are in the store. I don't want to make moms uncomfortable and metal heads too comfortable. So when the store is empty i like to get a fix and play some death metal. So i do. I'm repricing some anime because of the constantly fluctuating interest rates and Satan takes hold of me. I pick up two pens and im playing a drum solo on the counter. Leaning back shredding a guitar solo and head banging. I start pretending to metal scream. Not like a real scream, like a deep throughty one. Like the ones you would do as a kid playing with action figures pretending to be loud. Then i see a bit of movement behind the shelf of back issues. And a middle aged black man that has been in the store many times stands up and gives me the crazy eye. He had been sitting cross legged on the floor reading and i didn't notice that he was still in the store. I was really embarrassed so i turned off the death metal and continued repricing.


vicki said...

dear wig.

your writing pleases me. as do cross legged black men.

layers, nigga.

Roger said...

It would be even funnier if instead of death metal it was boys club.

Anonymous said...

man, you remind me a lot of David Foster Wallace with your acute observations of reality.

these are two of his most famous articles, hyper-sensitive observations of hilarious situations and fucking funny too.

Earwig said...

thanks Anonymous!
i had never heard of that fellow and im actualy getting into him.
I read an article about his death in rolling stone so now at least i have something to aspire to! Thanks for the info! his writing blows my mind.